virginsacrificer:

mom: dinners ready

me:

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  • 38 minutes ago
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praises:

YOU MIGHT GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AND DECORATE YOUR HOME WITH THEM AND DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE WATCH LATE NIGHT INFORMERCIALS JUST BECAUSE AND SEE THEIR SLEEPY FACE WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE AND BE REALLY WEIRD WITH THEM AND THEY’LL STILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT AND IF THE POSSIBILITY OF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE IDK WHAT WILL

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  • 42 minutes ago
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  • 44 minutes ago
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how do fourteen year olds get pregnant, I can’t even get a high five from a guy

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clannyphantom:

tumblr game! all of u mail me $50

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  • 48 minutes ago
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tuukka-rask:

if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras. 

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  • 48 minutes ago
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rabioheab:

calling people on the phone is more stressful than open heart surgery 

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  • 53 minutes ago
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  • AnonymousHelium doesn't tighten vocal cords(or, umm, your butt vocal cords or whatever). Helium gas when inhaled causes your voice to become squeaky because of the change in the medium in which the sound vibrations from your vocal cords travel through. Helium has a lesser density than the mixture of gases that compose the atmosphere, thus sound waves travel faster in helium. Unfortunately helium wouldn't tighten your butt vocal cords even if you had any. I'm terribly sorry, this must be so sudden for you
  • j5h

    This is so unfortunate did I absorb helium gas into my anus for nothing?

  • Queen AJ.
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  • 54 minutes ago
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spreaditlikeavirus:

afgaganistan:

flipping your pillow over to the cold side

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Biting your pillow as your ass is being rammed.

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